


As it Once Was and Forever Will Be

by YesterdayOnceMore



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Angst, F/M, Poor Spock, Stuck in the past, kind of unrequited love?, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-12 01:03:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17457635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YesterdayOnceMore/pseuds/YesterdayOnceMore
Summary: The worst part of never making it back to the future wasn't navigating the world as it was three hundred years ago, but living in a world where Spock wasn't at Kirk's side.





	As it Once Was and Forever Will Be

**Author's Note:**

> feeling angsty today! sorry lmao

He was in love with her. He was in love with her and nothing could change that, not the threat of being stuck in the past, not the idea of never venturing into space again, not Spock’s desperate warnings. Jim Kirk was in love with Edith Keeler.  


They had a simple goal, or at least, Spock had thought they did. Go back in time, stop Doctor McCoy, come back. Come back and live life as they had, together, adventuring. But Kirk, oh Kirk, ever the romantic, had fallen for the lovely lady who had shown him kindness.  


_Was his not enough?_  


Spock could see it in his eyes. Staying here wouldn’t be so bad for him. Captaincy was hard, there was no doubt about it, and who could say that Kirk didn’t deserve to live a normal life? He’d done his time, led his mission, made a name for himself. Really, truly, Spock hoped for his happiness. But not like this.  


Kirk excused himself and ducked out of their room, no doubt to find his love, to hold her hand and walk with her through the bitter cold. Spock stared at the news article, knowing it would break Kirk’s heart. How could he? How could he tell his friend that his beloved had to die if they wished to go home? How could he convince his captain that they had to go back, or rather, forward, when he was capable of making this dirty, sad world his home? What did their reality hold that would make Kirk want to go back?  


But he had to tell him. Had to let him make his own choice, had to try.  


He came back. Spock told him. He broke.  


_That can’t be true! She’s right! She’s a good person, she doesn’t deserve to die!_  


But despite his protests, Kirk didn’t try to save her when the car came. He stopped McCoy, looked into Spock’s eyes, he surrendered. He stared into Spock’s eyes as nothing happened, as they stayed exactly as they had been. As Edith lay in the street, not dead, but struggling to breathe.  


And he helped her. Kirk turned his back on Spock, ran to the street, knelt before her, begged for forgiveness. And she granted it, ever the generous woman.  


She lived and they stayed. There was no hope now. They were completely, permanently, irrevocably, stuck.  


And the three men from the future-that-could-have-been adjusted. It was slow, of course, adapting to a world that existed three hundred years ago. Kirk had it easiest, what with his lovely darling to show him the way. McCoy caught on quickly, ever the lover of the old fashion. But Spock, poor Spock, how he struggled. He was stuck not only hiding when he came from but also where, unable to connect in his new world for fear that his devil-ears and green blood would be discovered.  


At first it was easy to rely on his friends. He still shared a room with Kirk, even if he spent most of his nights with Edith. Then, when he moved out, his plans to marry Edith in the air, promises to maintain his friendship that went unfulfilled, life became more difficult. McCoy invited himself over occasionally, kept him updated on both his and Kirk’s life, but it was clear to Spock that life as he had known it would never return. Never again would he be able to look forward to sitting across a chessboard from Kirk. Never again would he be able to hold intimate, personal conversations with him. The easy, joking manner that they navigated their friendship with each other was gone, gone like the future. He was gone. He was gone and Spock was alone, once and for all.

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on tumblr @ logic-is-a-little-tweeting-bird
> 
> apologies for any and all typos, this was pretty rushed!


End file.
